Nicole's Notions

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

What's a mom to do?

A cousin, a sister and a sister-in-law all receive disability insurance and/or state help to raise their children. The cousin is the only one who does not also have a parent helping raising the children.

The cousin receives section 8 housing, state medical insurance, and food stamps. The father is 100% there for her and the children. With the state funding and help, he pays the difference for the rent and utilities.

The sister is applying for disability currently due to her epilepsy. Also receives state medical, and will be getting food stamps and cash assistance. She is living with her mother and step-father. She does not pay rent, an electric bill, cable bill, or phone bill. She does not buy groceries, diapers, or formula. The father is in the baby's life, but while he does provide few material things, it is not much. Heck he won't even let his son or fiance, my sister, live with him until she can support herself and the child.

The sister-in-law is also living with her parents. She has not had a job in 10+ years. The state and her parents support her children. In fact, she barely gets out of bed to take care of them. Yet the state provides everything to her to keep her children healthy, fed, and clothed.

Now myself. It took my husband being laid off for 6 months before I was able to qualify for state medical for myself and the children. And still my husband was brought into court for child support. It took my husband and I separating for my children and I to qualify for W.I.C. My home, which I am renting, is in foreclosure, and when it sells we have to move. My monthly rent plus basic utilities are twice as much as our monthly income. Yet I cannot qualify for state assistance. In order for me to receive housing help for my children and I, I must divorce my husband, have him totally forget about my children and I, and he needs to disappear and not pay any child support whatsoever.

I just recently found out due to my many psychiatric problems I could probably qualify for disability assistance. The problem with that is the problems I have are not preventing me from working, so that option is out, as I always have held a job.

According to the state my only option for housing when our current rent sells is to start saving now, can't do that and afford the rent, utilities, plus food and clothes, or to go into a shelter when the house sells and save up then.

So what is a mom to do? What do I do to make sure my children have shelter? Do I let myself go, let my labels and disorders take over, and quit my job and go for disability? Do I divorce my husband, have him leave my children and my life? Or do I keep going like I am and just see what happens? Maybe we will get lucky and someone will by the house as a rental property? Maybe the house won't sell? Maybe we will catch a break?

Its not like things haven't already improved drastically since one year ago...



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