Nicole's Notions

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Treat others how you want to be treated.

Isn't that what all parents teach their children?
..Then why don't all parents treat their children, or son in laws in my case that way? Okay heres the deal. My husband was supposed to make his car payment today, with his unemployment check. Normally he makes xx amount of money, which just covers the car payment. For some reason unemployment only gave him x amount, which is ½ of what he needs. Okay.... Well the car is both my husbands name and my fathers... Yesterday my father made a huge fuss about my hubby making the payment because the last few have been late, very late, but were finally paid. Instead of my husband telling my father he didn't have the money last night when his check came, he waited until tonight. He waited so he could call unemployment and ask why he didn't get his whole amount. He also waited so he could try and come up with the other half of the payment. Of course, he didn't get the rest of the money so he went to talk to my father.
What does my father do...
The same thing he always does!
He flips out! Totally screaming, telling my husband and me we need to pack up, get our children who are ready for bed bundled up and get the f out of his house. Because unemployment changed the amount my husband gets with out notice, he wants us out of his house. He doesn't care his screaming is affecting my children, his grandsons! He doesn't care my three year old and nine month old are crying their eyes out, scared out of their minds, begging mommy to make Poppy stop yelling. My father does not care!
I do understand him being upset, over the past few months my husband and I were terrible. I know this, he knows this, everyone knows this. We were addicts. We did exactly what he did 9+ years ago when he was battling his addiction.
He says he understands us getting clean and getting back on our feet. He says he understands us being broke. He says he is their to help us. Yet the minute things are not his way or not on his terms, he freaks! It is an every other day thing where he has to fight us. He fights us because my husband doesn't go to N.A. He fights us because my husband would rather collect unemployment than make half of what he makes there at McDonald's or Stop and Shop. He fights us because my Methadone makes me nod more now than when I was getting high. He fights us because we turn on the kitchen light instead of the pantry light. He fights us because we stay up late and have our television, in our room on past two a.m. He fights us because we only have one working vehicle. He fights us all the time, over every little thing. And him fighting us means him screaming and yelling and slamming doors and throwing things in front of my children. His fighting us means my young children being scared, crying, and begging mommy to make it stop.
He was an addict. He knows what it is like when you are first getting clean. He knows how hard it is to get back on your feet and pull yourself out of that gutter.

Why can't he treat others the way he wants to be treated?

If we yell at him we might as well be homeless, but he can treat us like the worthless junkies he believes us to be.

Yet why am I complaining? What right do I have to complain? I mean he is letting us live here rent free, all four of us..

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Blogger I'm Rachel said...

I'm so sorry Nicole! Sounds like a no-win situation you're in right now. I wish there was something I could do to make it better for you. ((HUGS))

October 17, 2008 at 5:03 PM  
Blogger Jolene said...

I'm so sorry Nicole. ((hugs)) Just hang in there and be strong. I hope things get better for you soon!

October 20, 2008 at 6:32 PM  

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