Is pregnancy sexy?

I read this blog faithfully every time there is a new post. Today's post was simply a link to something the author had written about a new commercial for "HOTmilk Lingerie."

http://www.imperfectparent.com/mominatrix/sexy-and-pregnant/823_1/

I know everyone has different feelings of their pregnant body. I personally do feel extremely attractive, even sexy while pregnant. When I am not sporting my big baby bump, I usually have very low self esteem and never think of myself as an attractive woman. Yet, while pregnant, I feel as if I am the most beautiful woman in the world. My husband, tells me he thinks I am beautiful all the time pregnant or not, but when I am pregnant, he just seems more attracted to me. It is like once I hit the 3rd trimester he can't stop staring and drooling, LOL. Which of course, helps boost my self esteem as well. I find the pregnant body to be absolutely stunning. Absolutely sexy.

Anyway, what are your thoughts? Now that all of us have big bellies, how are you feeling about your self? Do you think lingerie marketed for pregnant women is a good idea? Or do you find it kinda sick?

Just looking for others thoughts to make sure I am not just a complete freak.

Thomas' 1st Day of Preschool.

9/9/09 A day a will never forget. My oldest baby went to school. He goes Mon, Wed, and Fri 12-2:30, in the same preschool, in the same classroom, with the same teacher, I had 18 years ago.
Thomas was so excited this morning and asked to go to school starting at 7:30 this morning. Finally at 11 a.m. I let him get dressed. At 11:45 we were headed out the door.

At 11:55 we arrived at the church, his school is in. He looked both ways and crossed the parking lot and started walking super fast to the door, careful to turn and make sure I was still following behind him.

We stopped at the door to snap another photo,

and went to find room #2.

Finally Mrs. Bast and Mrs. Bell opened the classroom doors, had the boys and girls line up and the parents sign them in. Each student had to find an apple with their name on the apple tree posted on the door. Thomas' immediately grabbed the one that said "Thomas" and placed it in the basket he was told to put it in.

When 1st going into the classroom the kids were told to play. Thomas' immediately ran to the pretend kitchen to play, mommy's favorite spot 18 years ago. And to think, the same exact kitchen set is still there!

Then he went and played cars.

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted the play dough on the table. He was beyond thrilled, especially with all the toys that went with the play dough.

Mrs. Bast was right there to help him when he got stuck with the rolling pin and cookie cutters.

Then it was story time. Thomas sat on his mat patiently while everyone settled down.

After "The Mouse who went to school," the kids were called two at a time to the rest room to wash their hands and get ready for snack time. Thomas stayed on his mat until he was called, washed his hands, threw his paper towel in the trash and found his "snack mat"

All the kids were asked to wait for everyone to sit before eating with their hands folded. Thomas' kept trying to eat his crackers.

Thomas was one of the only two students who finished all his milk and both graham crackers.

After snack the kids went back to their mats and sang two interactive songs, which the parents participated in.

Then it was time for the "Weekly Reader," a two page flyer where the kids had to describe what was in the pictures. Then Thomas got his wish granted. All day long he had been asking if he was going to get homework. And he got two sheets of homework. He has to find the objects found in a class room and color a picture of a pencil. If he brings them back on Friday he will get two stickers. Then it was time to leave. Thomas ran to both teachers said thank you and told them he will see them Friday. On the way out I snapped one last photo of my school-boy.

I have never been more proud, happy, and sad at any point in my life. Still, I cannot believe how hard it was to see him in a classroom setting. I am just so amazed that for the last 4 years, I have been his sole care taker and from here on out, teachers will be there to help mold the person he will be as an adult. I love this boy so much and it hurts to see him move on to this stage in his life. I just have to face it. My baby is growing up.



Oh! And because Thomas' birthday was Sunday, he gets to celebrate on Monday in school! We have to bring in cupcakes for all the kids! I am so excited! Then September 21st he gets to go on his 1st field trip, Apple picking!

Man I love my boy.

Happy Birthday Thomas.

Happy 4th birthday my sweet baby boy. You are no longer a baby, but you will always be in my eyes.

That's right. My Thomas turns 4 today. Four years ago, I woke up unsure that it was time. Finally I realized it was in fact time and off to the hospital I went. After a few hours of labor, and 45 minutes of pushing, out he came at 2:43 p.m. on Tuesday September 6th. He was this little defenseless being who relied on me for everything. Without me, he would never have survived. Without an adult, no newborn can survive. He needed me to keep him fed, changed and clean. He needed me to teach him to be a person.

Now.. Now he is 4 years old. He can speak his needs on his own. He no longer needs someone to figure out what it is he needs. When he is hungry or thirsty he either helps himself or gets me to help him out. He no longer needs to wait for me to figure it out. When he is dirty, he will run to the restroom and wash up himself. Or he will tell me he needs a shower, "because his feet are dirty" and then proceed to wash himself. He no longer needs me to rock him to sleep. He can now tell me he is tired, go into his room, climb into bed himself and fall asleep. He no longer needs me to tell him it's time to start the day. He gets up on his own and tell me now. He will no longer rely on me to teach him everything he will ever need to know. On Wednesday, he starts his school career and will now have other adults to teach and guide him.

I am not ready to let go and let him start being on his own. Yes, I know it is only preschool and it is only 7.5 hours a week, but this is a new beginning. This is the start of him having his own life. A life not including myself or his Daddy.

No I do not want to shelter him from the world and everything in it, but I am not ready to let him see it yet either.

It is time for me to realize my baby is no longer a baby and is now in fact a child ready to fly on his own a bit. At least for now, it will only be him fluttering around the nest and not leaving for good anytime soon.

I love this boy so much. Happy 4th Birthday Thomas.

Thank You Kara!

Just wanted to publicly thank you on this blog here as well.
I received the box of maternity clothes, and love every single item in there!
Also, I cannot believe everything in there fits me perfectly.

Kara, from the very bottom of my heart, I thank you.

The light at then end of the tunnel

Tom starts work tomorrow! In the union! It seems every time I get excited about this, he only works for a week and then is laid off again, so lets hope and pray that this is it and he is back to work for good!

Let's hope we can finally catch up.
Let's hope we can find an apartment within our budget.
Let's hope we can pay Thomas' 1st tuition in time.
Let's hope we can pay our electric bill before it is turned off.
Let's hope we can make our car payment before it is repo'd.
Let's hope we can afford Thomas' 4th birthday party.
Let's hope we can do all this before Bailey makes her entrance.

Let's hope this is it.
Let's hope this is the sun shining through, and not a train wreck waiting to happen, again.

He's so jealous.

Collin that is. I am no longer allowed to hug or kiss Thomas. Every time I show my oldest child any form of affection Collin immediately starts whining and gets in the way, shoving Thomas away.

Example: I was leaving for work this morning. I gave Collin a hug and kiss, then went to hug Thomas, every time I tried, Collin would hug my knees with one arm and shove Thomas with the other. When I went to kiss Thomas, Collin, still at my knees started making his kiss face and sound at me.


And the worst part of all is I really do not think he likes his brother too much. I mean they play together very well most of the time. Collin will reach to hold his hand when walking out doors or in stores. Yet, he will not under any circumstance give Thomas a hug, kiss, high-five, or anything. He just will not. He pushes him away, hits him, screams at him, ect..

What will I do when Bailey gets here? Will he be jealous of her as well?

Blogging for the sake of blogging.

Out of no where it just hit me. At 11:30 at night, when I am supposed to be in bed, on "bed-rest," it hit me. I should blog. About what? I don't know.. About who? I, again, don't know.

Maybe it's because my mind is in a fog and I usually feel much less stressed after I write. Maybe it's because things are again seeming like they can't get much worse, and I need to free my thoughts.. Who knows.. I sure don't.

I have been reading blogs all day it seems. Well actually for about a half hour now. And I had a thought cross my mind numerous times. I really am a terrible writer. Between the typo's and being so grammatically incorrect most of the time, and the fact that I can't help but drag anything out, I realized I will never have one of those popular blogs with thousands, or hundreds, or even ten's of readers. I will not have a blog which people just have to check daily. And, while that was my intention in the beginning, I am okay with that. I am totally okay with knowing I may be the only person who faithfully reads this ugly thing. Whatever. I am happy with it.
I like having something to look back at. Just like I enjoy reading my diaries and journals dating back to when I was a child, an adolescent, a teen.

Maybe one day, when I have had more time on this earth, and have accomplished more than just being a heroin addicted, suicidally depressed wife and mother, more people will come to read this. And if not.. Oh well. I am okay with it..

Maybe tomorrow I will blog about something worth reading.

Or not.