Those Eyes..

Both my boys have amazing eyes. You don't really notice them all the time, but when the lighting and the surroundings are just right. Amazing.. Truly Amazing.

One Year Ago Today

I had my last OB appt. I was told Collin was 7lb6oz, I was scheduled to have an induction for the 18th at 6am. I was CONVINCED he was never going to come. That night he was born, after the easiest, quickest, birth I had ever imagined, at 6 lbs 19 oz.

I cannot believe this. I am so ready for another baby, well no, I am completed not, but I want another.

This first year is just so amazing, how they turn from these itty bitty little blobs to these real people with their own amazing little personalities. Then when you add the affection they learn over this first year. Wow.

I so miss the cuddles from when he was so teensy. I miss him completey relying on me for nourishment, for comfort, for love, for everything. Yet, the hugs and open mouth kisses, the high fives, the waves buh-bye, the "ny nys" at bedtime, the smiles in the morning and after a nap..

Oh my. Do I love this first year.

And to think, it just gets better, easier, harder. Different. I look at Thomas, then imagine Collin in a year or two. The things he is going to learn. Things he will do. Man oh Man.


Happy Birthday my little man.

Counting Cals, Photography, Parenting, Sobriety, & The Work Force

Counting Cals
Eating healthy is going great! 3 days is longer than I have ever made it. I haven't eaten over 1,500 calories in three days, but am not hungry. Now to work on including breakfast everyday. It is a pain in the butt to watch calories though, but I like having something to focus on.

Sunday: 1,445
Monday: 1,245
Tuesday: 1,169

I will probably have another snack around 9:30..



Photography 101
I just joined a new message board, http://ilovephotography.com/forums/, I probably won't frequent it as much as I do the photo-board on Just Mommies, but I will hang around a bit.

I am still struggling in Manual on my camera.. for some reason I cannot get anything but very black photo's unless it is complete daylight.. whatever, I will figure it out something.

I applied for 3 different photography positions today, hopefully someone will call. All of them provide free training, so we will see.


Bed time Blues
I have never mentioned this before, but we really have a lot of trouble getting Thomas to sleep and were starting to have the same issues with Collin. Not only did I start my diet on Sunday, but I started a new bedtime routine for the boys. 7:45 Collin gets his last bottle. We brush his teeth. By now it is 8p.m. I put on his Baby Mozart DVD. I lay him down w/ his blankey, lion, puppy, and wormy. Give him his kiss and tell him I love him and walk out. He is completely out by 8:30, so then it is Thomas's turn. He brushes his teeth, goes potty one last time and then picks a movie. I put it on, tuck him in and give him a kiss and hug and we say our I love you's. The boys are adjusting well to this. I really hope it sticks!


Sobriety
Man does it suck... I watched intervention last night and was nearly drooling over a guy sticking a needle in his arm. How freaking sick? Today I was finally given a urine at the program.. but of course, I couldn't pee. I swear unless I am pregnant or peeing on a stick I cannot go. I can't.. This sucks, I cannot progress in the program unless they know I am clean, they won't know I am clean unless I give a urine. And.. I cannot give a urine..

Also, my counselor left Friday.. So I am without a counselor.. Also, I was supposed to meet the psychiatrist for the 1st time last week but he had an emergency. I cannot reschedule that appt. until I get a new counselor, so another week or so I have to wait. I really need to build a rapport with these people so I can learn to trust them and fully open up. I need to get a lot out, figure out a lot, and learn some things about myself. And get on some medication..

The Work Force
I quit Stop & Shop 3 weeks ago, started selling kirbys, quit that.. Now I am waiting for the post office to send me my practice tests and test date. Hopefully I can get in.. At least it pays well and has awesome benefits. I would have loved to have stuck w/ Kirby, I was sooo good at it! The hours sucked though, I was never home. 8:45a-9:30-10p is way too long of a day with two small children.